To be or not to be

I copied this quote the other day from Pinterest and it has kind of haunted me.

Sometimes when I blog it helps me with that haunting feeling.

Of course my first thought was of my own mother. This quote certainly describes her. Oh how I love my Mom. What a rich memory she has left with me.

Being a mother is the greatest calling ever. It is indeed a calling, to be entrusted with such precious children from my Heavenly Father.

It is also one of the most joyful and challenging experiences ever....now don't react...I love being a mother (and wife) more than anything ever....but.....I also get sad so often being a mother  because I just don't feel like I do the best job.

Sure...I have ( with Bill) raised four incredible, talented , successful children. I must have done a few things right.

I think what makes me falter is seeing my children face challenges and like the mother in me, I take it personally....thinking that I didn't prepare them enough.

One of the hardest things about being a Mom is letting your children grow up and leave you. It all just seems to happen over night. Maybe it's being here with Laura close to the moment when she will become a Mom....I just know that her life will never be the same. She'll be the mommy...she'll love her little girl ( she already does so much) and one minute she'll be thinking Baby will never...sleep, eat, talk, walk, and so much more and then it will be .....look at my beautiful girl....oh so talented, energetic, social, ....what....my baby is  in love....she's going to be a mommy.

We're always Mothers and we make mistakes. Sometimes we do things that drive you crazy, sometimes we do too much for you, sometimes we try to solve your problems, and other times we just don't understand.

I guess I needed to just to remind myself that I'm human and I am who I am. I am deeply deeply grateful for the trust given me to be a mother.

Thank you Michael, Kathy, Karen, and Laura

You made my task one of great joy, and amazing adventures.

MY FAVORITE

It's kind of a running joke in our family that Mom has favorites. The truth of the matter is that I DO have favorites.
Michael will always be my favorite son. Kathy will always be the favorite oldest daughter, Karen favorite middle daughter, and Laura favorite baby daughter.

BUT kids the truth of the matter is that I DO have a favorite. None of you would be mine if it wasn't for your dear Daddy and HE IS THE FAVORITE. While we still have issues that drive me CRAZZZZZY.....he is the most generous man that I know....and I don't mean in giving things. While he drives me a little nutty...he just does things for others without any fanfare. 

While I've been away he texts me first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Sometimes I joke that we talk more when I'm away than when I'm home!! He finds it hard to say emotional words ( I miss you/I love you ) but yet I feel it.

I love how he worries about his children, and quietly tries to help them. He is precious with his grandchildren ( even when he won't change diapers.) I love how he says Fe Fi Fo Fum to make Olivia scream and run, and then he tickles her on end. He has funny names for many of them, and he's a great 'poppy'.

Thanks Bill for being my man....for almost 39 years...and on for eternity. I still love our memories of our courtship..that first kiss in the livingroom....our first apartment....our first home....trips around the province....PEI cabins....oh and did I mention Disney....loved our Hawaii days...high in the sky laughing....France....Carcassone...Mediterranean.... and so so so much....you enable me beyond to travel to see my children.....love you Bill

WAITING AND WALKING

I'm enjoying my visit here with Laura and Jeremy. I came here a little over a week ago, most especially then so as not to miss the arrival of baby girl.  I think that someone neglected to send her an invite....so we're just hanging around waiting for the guest of honor. Enough said about waiting....my heart hurts for Laura and Jeremy because they are super excited to meet her, and become a family of three. 

Meanwhile, I'm enjoying doing errands with Laura, reading, and helping wherever I can. I am also back on the walking routine. (HOORAY) Some of it has been to explore and give Laura a break from my pretty face. The rest has been to walk that baby out as Laura and I walk together. This city has some wonderful parks and trails...1000s actually. Laura lives near Nose Hill Park which was our first hike; we also went to Confluence Park for a second hike......well I hiked,and she ran her last 5K ( no comment on that ); and today we went to Weaselhead Park. Each park is a a maze of trails and beautiful countryside. Great to see smack in the middle of a very busy city....and you don't notice the city hardly at all as you hit these beautiful trails.

 I think today's hike was my favorite, especially when Laura took me off the main trail to a precious resting spot full of bird feeders, nice benches and the sweetest chickadees that you'd ever see. They watch you and when you're really still and holding seeds on your person for them (hands and my shoulders), they land and nibble. It was a glorious hike. It rained as we started, but then the sun burst out from behind the clouds and we exited the park with blue skies abounding, and oh yes, fortunately free from meeting any bears.

the view from Nosehill Park

Running in Confluence Park

Confluence Rock

Weaselhead Park

More walking and waiting tomorrow....maybe

35.74km since I arrived

I AM A MOTHER

I was going to head off to bed but my mind keeps racing back to this blog saying....write down what you're thinking. Maybe it's because of some TV that I watched here tonight with Laura, but I'm feeling some major motherhood thoughts.

Okay....I'm not sure where I'm going with this but here come the floodgates. I will start by saying how much I miss my mother. I really wish that she had been around to see me become a mother-in-law and then a grandmother. I would have lots of questions for her. Like when do you ever stop worrying about your children ? When do you let go and realize that they are adults? When do they let go...or do they?  How much worry did I give to you Mom ?

Right now I'm in Calgary. I came out here to be with Laura 
( my baby) as she gives birth to her first child. I've been with each of my other children as they started the motherhood/fatherhood road. They have each welcomed me to be a part of this miraculous event. For the first three it was basically an event that occurred when labor started.....each unique and very special in their own way. Laura's too is unique. I'm not sure if I was invited, or it was assumed that I'd come but here I am. I came on the sixteenth ( because I didn't want to risk missing this event) No fear, dear Laura has been put in a holding pattern awaiting her precious delivery. I'm very glad that I could be here, and I'm fine waiting. Sometimes I feel a bit in the way so I go for nice walks....but I know that Laura is glad that I came. ( she keeps assuring me over Menchies frozen yogurt)

This is a first time that I'm actually living in the same house as the expectant parent ( well I did have Keah with us briefly before the twins surprise arrival). Now here is the Mom feelings  in me.....this is my baby...very pregnant, very prepared, very knowledgeable, and very adult. WOW...the whole experience is kind of overwhelming for me. Soon she too will be a mother and her life will never be the same. She will have a child to nurture, to protect, to teach, to smile with, to cry with, to LOVE, and oh so much more.

I am so happy to be a mother. It is both the happiest and hardest job ever. It never ends. It brings me both joy and tears. It overwhelms me. It is a privilege, an honor to be given children. Such a deep responsibility. I have often felt so inadequate as a mother....I still do after 37 years. ( and my children will too) I have not always done the right things in raising my children, but I did always try to improve. I often wondered those same questions that I'd ask my mother.

Thank you sweet children for letting me be your mother. At this stage in my motherhood I do try to let you be the adults that you have become. I try not to interfere. I try to be there as much as you need me....but sometimes I'm not helping you by being there too much. Please forgive me if I've ever let you down ( and I know that I have) 

I could ramble on lots tonight...but when it all comes in my mind I just feel deeply thankful for my life, my family, and the knowledge that is mine as to why family is so important. I love my family....the one that I was born into, and the one that I was able to help create. I'm also grateful for the next generation that comes with grandchildren...the icing on the cake so they say....or the toppings on my Menchie treats !!

Thank you each for allowing me experience your journeys into parenthood. Good luck  and God bless each of your families. Much love...Mom

Hurry Up Little one...we are so excited to meet you!!!

What's happening in the west ??

More peeks into my Calgary adventures...week one

As we wait for baby girl to arrive....Laura and I have run errands, and just generally done some final preps for the BIG day. The first photo is one that I love to find on my text messages to start my day. My youngest grandson, Cooper getting spiffy for school photos. What a handsome boy.

 Laura and I made a visit to her midwife on Wednesday which was very interesting. Lovely people and very helpful....just a waiting game now. After the MW we went to a place called Lola lashes for Laura to get some lashes extensions...a gift from a good friend...and a two hour appointment...150  additional lashes added to each eyelash. My photos do it NO justice. I did some walking while she had this done, and then we hit Menchies for oh yes...frozen yogurt...watermelon flavor was amazing. The other cute photo was from chapters...that's me signing love to the family

 

 

This has been a very relaxing time....loving that 'r' word. I'm trying to get out walking each day, and also help Laura where I can. We also enjoyed some Olive Garden for dinner tonight, now that jet lag has settled. More to come.

NEW DIRECTIONS

Well, September has gone in a new direction...here I come 'westward ho!!!'

Tuesday, September 16th I borrowed a westjet flight to head to Calgary to visit with the Dunfords and to welcome grandbaby #9. 

The flight went well. I sat by a delightful lady named Hilary Fraser from Dartmouth. She was simply delightful, and we had some great conversation, and laughs together. I plan to get together with her when I return east !

It was great to return to Calgary, and beyond great to hug my youngest!! It was so exciting to actually see her baby bump beyond photos. It's such an awesome thing to see your daughters ( and daughter-in-law) pregnant. Laura's ( little) bump is delightfully bigger. ( that's a compliment sweet Laura)

It was fun also to come to her newest home!

Our first day together was such fun. She had a visit with her high school friend, Sarah Gordon and her darling son, Chase. Sarah played high school basketball with Laura, and I loved seeing her again. She's just as adorable as she was then, and a sweet momma! It felt strange to go down memory lane with them, and now see them as wife's and moms.

We then did some out of house errands..and then met up with Vanessa and Dominic for Momma pedicures. It was delightful.

Laura cooked some delicious pulled pork for dinner, and I tried to stay awake for some Amazing Race....key word was tried.....I am happy to be here with Laura and Jeremy.

 It's great to be here.

TRADITIONS AND CORN

 September has been amazing in Nova Scotia. One of our great autumn traditions has been to attend our ward corn boil. Michael, Keah, and the girls plus Francesco came up for overnight. It was fun to have them with us at the corn boil.  I love when we hold it at the Dingle ( Flemming Park). The evening was wonderful, lots of great friends there. My favorite place to hold it ( at the beach) had another group....but we explored and enjoyed the evening. It's a pretty laid back event but great gathering and such delicious corn. Hooray for traditions

 

 

 

YUMMY

CRAFT FRIENDS ARE THE BEST FRIENDS

Isn't this the cutest card !

I received it a while ago from my 'crafty friend' Monica.

She's hosting a fun card night for a few friends, but unfortunately I will be in Calgary and have to miss!!!

HOWEVER

this friend is so special because she gave me my very own card night. I love making cards with Monica because she is a great card maker. I even just feel good being in her craft room. She always inspires me to organize, and to make lots more cards. Her card night will be awesome.

Her projects are wonderful and I'd love to show you how cool they are.....but I don't want to ruin her surprises....I'll post them next week.

Here's a sneak peek.....

Wait until you see the finished products !

I'll close with one last card....my own creation ...just to say thanks friend.

A fun filled night, great conversation, yummy treats

and your caring friendship !!

You're the best

PS...Happy Retirement...let the fun begin

September.....such a grand month

In September for a while, 

I will ride a crocodile

Down the chicken soupy Nile

Paddle once

Paddle twice

Paddle chicken soup with rice

I used to teach that poem every September for many years. Some of happiest memories were teaching days. As tough as those  days often were; it was very satisfying.

However, September now is just a continuation of carefree days ( most of the time) and I'm grateful for this.

The month has started off that way....but only for a few more days....WE HAVE A NEW BABY COMING SO

OON...AND I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED !!! 

I leave for Calgary in just a few days so ....I thought that I'd post the N.S. part of September. I know that I continue to blog mostly through my photos....but hey....that's a great way to remember.....here goes.....some of this is late August...ooops....our annual yard sale

Karen headed back to school and Olivia came for some Grandma time

 

I worked on some quilt projects and cool pillowcases

 



while getting hooked on the show 'Luther'

 

Bill and I did some side detours while heading to Bridgewater. We dropped into Mahone Bay, and had a lovely dinner in Lunenburg....so much beauty everywhere

 

 

 

 

 

 

An evening of fun in Pine Grove....jumping and roasting marshmallows

 

The crazy jumpers....then I asked Finley to pose for me....

oh that girl!!!

 

 

Then poppy gave a big surprise.....a bum drop first try....

show off

 

 

 

 

and one of my favorite days ( except for the sunburn!!!!)  I went to play at the beach....I love the beach and don't go there enough

 

 

 

 

 

Western photos always make me smile

Always a fun dinner....Chicken burger...

 

 

did I mention that Georgia got to go see Katy Perry....these photos keep trickling in !!!!

Our beautiful Sarah Grace turned 12 in Sept.

Okay September...we're off and running and it's just going to get better....counting my blessings every day!!!